ARE YOU IN A TOXIC FAMILY SYSTEM? 


Toxic families are made up of toxic family members. These toxic people may be your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, or they can be your in-laws and cousins. The reality is that if you have to question whether someone is toxic, they probably are. Toxic parents exhibit a chronic lack of empathy towards their children," Shannon Thomas, trauma therapist and author of Healing from Hidden Abuse tells Bustle.What is family toxicity? In families with toxic parents and siblings, passive aggression and nonstop competition are common. Toxic parent isolation is also common. This puts children in the role of either trying to please a toxic parent or being a target for criticism.There are many possible signs of emotional or psychological abuse. The parents may be physically present, but emotionally absent. Or, they may take a hard line on parenting issues such as education, health, religion and money, while ignoring the child’s perspective."A toxic family member can induce stress that damages your health and well-being. Toxic family members can be draining, cause anxiety and make you feel bad about yourself. They may even cross the line into abuse or violence at times. How do you feel when you're around your family? If it's a mixture of sadness, anxiety, anger and stress... they may be toxic. One of the most obvious ways of toxicity is through verbal abuse, but it can also be emotional and physical. Chances are, you probably know what a toxic parent looks like on the surface. But toxic parenting can be a little more difficult to identify, especially when these kinds of behaviors are all you've ever known.Toxic parents don't have to be the loud, combative villains in the movies. "Toxic parenting can be subtle and covert," says clinical psychologist Dr. Carrie Kaplan. "It can be masked with love and concern."Toxic parents know how to use guilt to control their children, says therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. It can be subtle, like a dad telling his son, "If you really loved me you'd mow my lawn while I'm on vacation." Or overt: "You're going to make your mom cry if you don't take out the trash." "Guilt is a toxic parent's weapon of choice," Hershenson says. If you think someone in your family is toxic, it's important that you identify the specific behaviors so you can understand the problem clearly and learn to set healthier boundaries with them.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 28, 2022 at 11:29 PM

    Parents usually do this thinking it's the right thing.

    ReplyDelete

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